Parents

Children and young people learn their attitudes about alcohol and drinking from those around them, especially parents/carers other adults and their peers.

Discussing alcohol, its effects and risks is a good way of enabling both parents and young people to voice their concerns, raise questions and enable them to explore how they feel about alcohol. With so many mixed messages about alcohol being around for young people to watch and listen to it is important that young people can get the facts from a trusted adult.

If children see a parent come home from work and immediately grab a drink and hear them say, "I need a drink after my day today!" chances are they are going to see alcohol as a way of dealing with stress and with other emotions. It can misinform children and young people that alcohol can "relieve" problems of depression, anxiety, and even fear.

ALCOHOL USE TO ENHANCE MOODS –

If a child or young person sees a parent/carer significantly change when they drink, perhaps going from a quiet mood to being louder, ‘merry’, exhuberant, or euphoric, the message is sent that alcohol use is the way to have fun. If the parent/carer drinks to "loosen up" and have a good time, the child might draw the conclusion that alcohol is necessary to have a good time.

INAPPROPRIATE DRINKING –

If children see adults drinking and breaking the law, in any way, they are probably going to develop the attitude that it is "okay, unless you get caught”

– If children or young people regularly see adults drinking to get drunk, the message given could be that to get drunk is normal and acceptable behaviour.

For adults, guidelines warn of risks to health if men regularly drink four or more units a day or women three or more units a day. For young people, who come in all shapes and sizes, and whose bodies may still be developing, risk-free drinking does not exist. Not only sex, build and weight, but also physical tolerance, experience of drinking and the context in which it takes place are all crucial factors which affect young people‘s and adults drinking experiences

Young people may start to drink with the consent of their parents (supervised drinking) as part of family life, or they may choose to drink away from adult control (unsupervised drinking). As Children and young people’s attitudes and behaviours are initially shaped by families, a sensible drinking example set by parents seems to be particularly important.

A unit is a standard measurement of alcohol used by the alcohol industry to give the public a guide of the amount of alcohol in any one drink. For example, one unit of alcohol is contained in:
A half pint of standard strength (3.55% abv) beer, lager or cider.
A pub measure of spirits (40% abv)
A small, 125ml glass of wine (9% abv)
(lots of pubs sell in 175ml or 250ml measures which obviously
increases the number of units)

BUT!

You must be aware that many beers and wines contain more than the standard strength of alcohol. All drinks must, by law, be labeled with the percentage of alcohol by volume (%abv). Some drinks are now labeled with the number of units they contain e.g. a 330ml bottle of alcopop contains about 1.5 -3 units.
How many units can adults drink in a week?

The recommended amount for adults is:
Adult females 2-3 units a day, (no more than 21 in a week)
Adult males 3-4 units a day, (no more than 28 in a week)
The amount varies between males and females because, overall, women's bodies contain less body fluid, which means that alcohol reaches higher concentrations in their bodies, making them more likely to get drunk more quickly.

It is also important for both men and women to spread the amount of alcohol units over the week and to have some alcohol free days, especially after indulging in binge drinking.
In the UK, a 'binge' is drinking more than 8 units if you're a man or 6 units if you're a woman in one session.

Parents and young people’s alcohol use

Parents can help by providing some rules about whether to promote sensible drinking either supervised or unsupervised or to not allow drinking alcohol at all. This could be discussed as a family and alcohol use within the family decided upon.

If talking about and drinking alcohol in the family is a taboo, young people may be more likely to be overly enthusiastic about trying and using alcohol unsupervised – this may mean that they are more likely to misuse alcohol once they are able to get hold of it.

Some helpful tips for parents thinking about allowing teenagers to drink some alcohol include:

• Set clear boundaries – some drinks or none at all on which occasions e.g. supervised at Sunday lunch or special occasions
• Agree boundaries on unsupervised drinking
• Safety is paramount – know where they are, who they are with and how they are getting home
• If your child is visiting another family on an occasion where alcohol may be present, ensure that the adults know your views on your child drinking alcohol.
• Try not to over-react if a young person drinks against your wishes, try talking about why it happened, how that made you feel and what might happen if the situation arose again.
• Positive communication with young people reduces risky behaviour so try to approach discussion from a positive way rather than using negative phrases such as “don’t…“, “no …”, “you will not …”
• Remember – you are their role model; we need to model ‘sensible drinking’.

 

Parentlineplus offers parents advice and support to talk to their children and young people about a range of issues including alcohol use. It also offers views from parents on how to tackle alcohol issues and becoming a positive role model to their sons and daughters.

For more information, help and advice call Parentline on 0808 2222 or visit www.gotateenager.org.uk

If you or someone you know has an issue with alcohol and feel that your ability to look after your child or children is affected by alcohol use you should contact your GP – they can provide support and counselling and can refer you to alcohol support services in Rotherham. It is important to get help as soon as possible. There are confidential alcohol services available in Rotherham for adults and parents who are using alcohol – call Rotherham Alcohol Service - 01709 364804

Questions relating to the ‘Call it a Night’ dvd

• Why does Pete’s mum end up burning herself?
• How does Pete’s dad react once Pete’s mum has burnt herself? How does that make her feel?
• How does Pete feel about the way that his mum and dad are being in front of his friend Nathan?
• Should Pete’s mum and Dad have given the boys alcohol to drink?
• How do you think that Pete’s Dad is feeling at the end of the night when Pete arrives home?
• Do you think that Pete’s dad and his mum are setting a bad example by drinking at home, ‘pre-loading’ before going out drinking and having alcohol in the house?
• How do you think that the younger friends parents might feel when they find out that the older boys have been buying alcohol for the younger friends?
• Do you think Pete’s parents would know that he has taken extra cans from home to drink (other than the two they were given)?
• Do you think Pete’s parents realize they are binge drinking?
• Is it just young people who display anti-social behaviour after drinking alcohol?
• In the DVD where you do see examples of peer influence or peer pressure? Is there a difference between peer influence and peer pressure?